Mon cher ami,
I beg of you,
forgive me..
if it may help
you do so,
then I offer you
the liberty..
to spit directly
at my face!

For, once again
you caught me
in the act..
of letting
myself go!
of pleading
yet another
case..

Except of course,
such is the habit
thrusted unto me
by my vocation..
which, one day,
quite unwittingly
I have embraced.

I am no prosecutor
neither am I an attorney.
Nayy, for I took upon
a rather more peculiar..
of a professional journey.

I am judge-penitent.
Though if we’re being
honest.. probably
it does not tell you
all that much.
Let me instead
describe to you
the duties
I must see to..
in my capacity
as such.

I am terrible
and wicked..
and I know it.
I don’t attempt
to even hide it..
freely I show it.
And so, you cannot pass
your judgement unto me.
For I already,
charged, and trialed,
and then executed
my own self..
as should be
plain to see.

Indeed, you can’t
condemn someone
who is already dead..
however tempting
doing so might be.
The dead are hardly
ones to worry of,
however..
For, it’s the living
who are double,
cher ami.

They will condemn you
for committing sin
with their one hand..
as they commit
the very same one
with the other.
And then
with those same
tongue and lips
that slandered
your good name
behind your back..
they find the gall
to call you brother!

It’s good
that I am quite immune
to any dirt
that they might throw
at me..
For, I already
buried myself in it
toe to head!
I get to pass my judgement
unto them
completely retribution free.
Such are the perks, indeed,
of being dead.

And though
I cannot punish them
with hell eternal..
for, surely,
I have nothing
shared in common
with Almighty God.
I have a punishment
much worse
in store for them,
and unlike hell..
however much
they may repent,
escape it they cannot.

The punishment
of being teased by me
all night and day.
As they attempt
to find their comfort
in confinement
of a prison chamber
called The Little Ease..
Alas, try though they may,
they won’t succeed.

Because this chamber
is designed precisely
with the ill intent..
to never let its prisoner
stretch out their body fully.
Whether they try
to sit or stand within it..
a punishment
much worse
than dying..
truly.